What do you do on a daily basis to avoid being sexually assaulted?” Sgt. Kiel Nowers of Bloomington Police Department asked to open his presentation on Nov. 4, 2025. He was speaking to a group of 75 men from Illinois Wesleyan University’s fraternity community in the Memorial Center’s Turfler Room.
Nobody had an answer—none of the men had any precautions they took.
Nowers took out his phone and called a female IWU student, junior Ellery Rohr. Days prior, Nowers led a women’s safety seminar for IWU’s sororities. Nowers asked Rohr and her Sigma Kappa sorority sisters the same question. He capped the list at 15 actions for the sake of time.
The list prohibited many things people take for granted every day: dressing the way one wants to, making conversation or eye contact with strangers and even walking alone at night with headphones in.
This activity was part of Nowers’ “A Better Man” presentation. It aims to enlighten men to the everyday struggles the women in their lives face and give them tips on how to be more respectful and positively impactful in women’s lives.
“If you want to have a more intimate relationship with the women in your life and understand them, ask them these questions,” Nowers said, “Ask them—your girlfriends, your moms, your sisters—do you go through these things? What do you have to do on a daily basis to avoid being sexually assaulted?” he said. “What are the things that go through your mind when you’re walking in an empty parking lot or a parking garage or getting into an elevator? I guarantee you it will blow your mind.”
“I appreciate Sgt. Nowers’ dedication to informing both men and women about these topics,” Rohr said, “He tailored our women’s safety to make our feelings valid and heard. I think it is a great idea that Sgt. Nowers is now involving men in this discussion, especially those on college sports teams and in fraternities.”
Despite speaking with thousands of women at his safety seminars, Nowers only recently started speaking to men about ways they can be part of the solution.
“These groups of men are a large representation of our campus community, and knowing that they have heard this discussion will make a difference on our campus,” Rohr said.
A combination of videos and open discussion, Nowers’ presentation discussed topics including defining modern masculinity, communication skills, a history of misogynistic laws in the United States, strategies for accepting rejection and male violence (against women and men).
“I really enjoyed the presentation,” junior Heath Field said, “It was really shocking about all the ways that women have to protect themselves. I found all the ways we can help out insightful. I would definitely recommend more men hear the presentation if given the chance,” Field said.
Nowers’ presentation at Illinois Wesleyan was only his second time giving the “A Better Man” presentation—the first being at Illinois State University’s Tau Kappa Epsilon chapter.
“The majority of men are good men,” Nowers said. “But we have to step it up. If one out of ten guys is a jerk, but the other nine do nothing to step in, then the nine might as well not even exist.”
