I actually have a boyfriend this year!
Pandemic.
Johnny helped us with this.
All he gave us was “Cupid: peepee, Arrow: poopoo.”
Peepee.
Poopoo.
You are getting laid tonight.
You are laying in bed taking a depression nap.
“Let me slip into something a little more comfortable. . .”
It’s a mask.
Kids in elementary school get to have their cute little valentine’s day parties.
They can’t exchange cute little valentines bc of COVID. 🙁
You think you saw your soulmate across the quad.
Then they take the mask off…
You’re an astrology GF.
Mercury’s in retrograde this Valentine’s day.
Your ex-girlfriend just released her first EP and it’s really good!
It’s literally all about you.
He’s got a big bulge. 😉
It’s his nose. In his mask.
Hundreds of Tinder matches calling me pretty.
I don’t want to catch COVID or feelings so I refuse to meet up with them.