Sat. Oct 5th, 2024

Editorial: Trick or Treat

Trick: You aren’t doing a matching couples costume

Treat: You get to dress hot as hell so they’ll take the costume off

 

Trick: You do not have any plans for Halloween.

Treat: You won’t contribute to the spread of the pandemic.

 

Trick: Fall themed drinks are soon to be over

Treat: Peppermint EVERYTHING.

 

Trick: Halloween, much like New Year’s Eve or Valentine’s Day, makes you realize how pathetic your plans are.

Treat: It’s an opportunity to take a much-needed self care day to indulge in candy gluttony.

 

Trick: You don’t have friends to go out with on Halloween. 

Treat: You also won’t have anyone stabbing you in the back.

 

Trick: You aren’t writing for the Argus.

Treat: If you do, you will get $7 a story. 

 

Trick: Climate change 🙁

Treat: It’s warm enough to not wear a coat with your costume.

 

Trick: Halloween is on a Sunday

Treat: Halloween brunch at SAGA

 

Trick: You’re going to be hungover on a Monday morning

Treat: Halloween is on a weekend this year

 

Trick: Nobody at the Halloween party understands your super niche costume

Treat: At least you got invited to a Halloween party!

 

Trick: Halloween is on a Sunday.

Treat: Better than it being on a Monday.

 

Trick: A scary black cat has crossed your path!

Treat: New friend <3

 

Trick: The Argus is being harsh through horoscopes

Treat: At least you got horoscopes this week

 

Trick: We still have to wear masks a year later

Treat: At least its holiday appropriate 

 

Trick: Nothing’s scarier than too much spiced rum

Treat: But least drinks are Halloween themed! 

 

Trick: It might rain on Halloween

Treat: You’ve got an excuse not to go to that party

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