Candace Parrott, Staff Writer
Romance – some like it hot. Others just want it to be real. And functional. We all know relationships can be tricky, but here are five pieces of advice for maintaining a healthy romantic relationship in college.
1. Honesty
Though it mays seem obvious, it’s a real issue in many relationships, romantic or not. If one person is closed off about something about the other person that hurts their feelings or irritates them, the explosion that follows will be ugly. Ain’t nobody got time for that. In order to avoid endless explosions that no one can prevent that sometimes even lead to a breakup, BE HONEST.
I have found in my time dating through college, talking about the problem to other people does not solve the problem. Girls and guys alike, it won’t help your romantic situation to whine and whimper to your pals about your love troubles. If he neglected to compliment you on your last date night and you felt a little offended, you should tell him and not Suzy, your pal since third grade. Can Suzy fix this issue? No.
If your girlfriend is calling you too often or you need to focus on homework more or have a little space rather than endless coffee dates and long walks on the beach, then tell her. Don’t complain strictly to your man friends that your girl is driving you slowly away by being a tad too clingy or demanding.
While friends can offer advice, especially if it’s something difficult to talk about, keep it down to one or two of your closest, most trustworthy pals. Then, spit out your hang-up to your significant other as soon as possible, before it progresses or becomes habitual.
2. Consistency
This, too, can be everything in a relationship. In college, you are bound to be busy. Between sports practice, writing a paper and trying to get enough sleep, it can be difficult to spend quality time with your significant other.
In order to avoid sleepless nights – not of the variety you want – plan to have a date night set aside.
Though it can sound daunting with exams and papers coming out your ears, relying on one night a week can be a life saver to you and your significant other. On campus, and downtown, there are plenty of things to do: art shows, concerts, movies, ice-skating, dancing, and so on.
If you have one evening a week for a few hours set aside explicitly for your significant other, you can surely keep an eye out for something fun to go do that you both enjoy or even make that set-aside time your veg-on-Netflix and cuddle time. Time management is essential in the college world; therefore, your date night can also be “recovery night” from your busy week.
Maintaining consistency in a long-distance relationship can be a bit more difficult, but it is still possible to set aside time. I think we can all relate that long-distance relationships–whether it be a friendship or a romantic relationship–are trying as it is, yet alone without consistent communication.
If your significant other is far away, the same idea of planning a time designated for them is still important. This idea of set-aside time goes for across the state or across the world. Maybe your sweetheart is either studying abroad or in the neighboring state; either way, set a date and time several times a week to communicate over more than simple text messages.
FaceTime and Skype can create a more intimate, tangible experience. Long distance relationships cannot rely on only technology, though. Planning dates to visit one another is a huge part of remaining in a healthy relationship. To do this, it’s only fair both parties visit one another. I suggest trading trips back and forth and not visiting again until your significant other has visited you back to weed out the weaklings.
Time, money, planning, and energy will be needed to maintain your relationship in the same town, yet alone with countless miles between. Make plans and stick to them. Money and time cannot be an excuse. You love this person, right?
3. Being unconditional
In your twenties, you’re going through a lot of change and have to make important decisions that were probably not there before. Such things might include: where you’re going to internship, grad school, whether you’re going to live on or off campus next year, what friends you’re keeping, what interests you’re going to continue pursuing or not and job applications.
There is a lot of stress and change happening in these years; therefore, being unconditional with your love sounds like a lot to ask for, but it’s worth it. You can’t only be happy with your significant other when you’re both feeling flawless.
There will be good and bad days, whether a family member passes away or you bomb an important exam, you need to unconditionally love and show love towards your other half. Be vulnerable and open, honest and make time for one another. It’ll pay off and keep you lovebirds in touch with one another’s worlds and feelings.
4. Check-ins
Though it may seem really obvious, or perhaps not so, it’s important to check in with one another. What is the real status of the relationship? If the last piece of advice freaked you out, maybe you should check in with your significant other and see where you’re really at. This also ties into honesty.
How serious are we? Are we meeting one another’s families? Do we just enjoy being with one another? Is this fun? Are we happy? Casual? Serious? There are a lot of things to discuss and to keep in mind that in a relationship, the longer you date, particularly, check in with one another just to make sure you’re both on the same page so no awkward surprises come up and feelings don’t get hurt without a surprise.
5. Sex
Obviously, it’s a big one. It is majorly important to be aware of one another in the relationship, which ties into the already mentioned pieces of advice. Be open about your sex life, what you like, what you don’t, how much you want or how little. Great relationships will have the two on the same page. Honesty and time are keys to this area of a relationship. Speak up if you’re feeling ignored or vice versa.
To all your lovebirds out there, take a moment and evaluate your relationship. Take an inventory of the good and plan on not revisiting any ugly moments.
Happy Valentine’s Day to all the happy couples out there and here is to another year of love and loving one another, perhaps even better than the first!