Wacky news: the modern-day hippy van and more

By admin Feb 12, 2015

Anna Lowenthal, Editor-in-Chief


13 years with 13 pounds:

Alamagordo, New Mexico resident, Melodie Piel, recently found a surprise she will never forget tucked safely in the door of her 1990 Chevrolet van – 13 and a half pounds of Grade A Kush, otherwise known as marijuana. After purchasing the used van in 2002, Piel drove her daughter’s children to and from school and softball games, and went on several vacations over the years, not knowing the kind of felony she was packing inside of it.

It wasn’t until a family friend took off the door panel of her vehicle to repair its handle that they discovered five plastic-wrapped and aluminum-foiled bricks of Mary Jane hidden inside of the cavity. Police say that the marijuana is too old to be usable anymore, but, considering we’ve found smoke-able 2,700 year-old marijuana in an ancient Chinese man’s tomb, I’d say it’s probably safe for a toke or two.

Moral of the story: Check out the innards of your used car – it may be worth a lot more than you might think.

Zombie Kitty:

Superstition says that cats have nine lives, but we’re sure that this one has at least two. A couple of weeks ago, Florida resident Ellis Huston found his beloved pet cat, Bart, lying in a pool of blood in the middle of the road after he’d been hit by a car. Huston was too shaken up to bury the cat himself, and asked his neighbor to do it for him. Two days later, Bart came back from the dead, clawing his way out of his early grave and back into the arms of his owner, who said he thought it was “…impossible. We buried Bart.” Lucky for Huston, his undead kitty is back to snuggle again – this time with a broken jaw and a clouded eye.

Moral of the story: Cats can play “possum” too.


Burglar King:

The Super Bowl is right around the corner, and football fanatic families across the country are stocking their fridges with pounds upon pounds of barbeque-able meats and all of the finest fatty foods only served for this special occasion. While some of us might think we’ve got our shelves stocked for the biggest Superbowl bash in history, one guy from Jacksonville, Florida is sure to have you beat. Last Wednesday, an unidentified man in a “Hilfiger” sweatshirt broke into Jerome Brown BBQ in Jacksonville and stole approximately $4,000 worth of ribs, chicken, wings and fries. Police still have not identified the man behind the meat mischief, but are asking “whoever knows something about it” to “just turn him in.” Hopefully, he’ll get to enjoy his barbequed goodies before they put him in handcuffs.

Moral of the story: When it comes to stealing for the Super Barbeque, go big or go home.

By admin

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