Consider The Goose for Mascot

By adviser Apr 9, 2021
Illustration: Samira Kassem
Illustration: Samira Kassem

As my time at Illinois Wesleyan draws to a close, I reflect on what it means to be a Titan.

Looking back, I realize how inadequate and inappropriate a mascot Tommy is.

The truth is, I am not a Titan. I have never been a Titan. Titan-hood is not what we should aspire to, it is not the vision John Wesley Powell had for us. 

In lieu of the Titan, I humbly ask that you consider The Goose. A school’s mascot is more than a foam suit and a graphic on overpriced merchandise — it is a symbol. It is how the school represents itself to the world, it is the idealized self that the students strive to emulate.

What does the Titan say about our school? What does it ask of us as students? The Titan is a dead god, a decaying relic of a time left behind. To call ourselves Titans is to

perform crude idol worship at the altar of antiquity. Pulled from the myths of ancient Greece, perhaps the Titan is meant to invoke these classics.

True, the so called liberal arts trace their origin back to ancient Greek philosophy, to the seven arts of Grammar, Rhetoric, Logic, Arithmetic, Music, Geometry and Astronomy. But have we not moved beyond these ancients? In the modern world, why concern ourselves

with the dusty musings of Greeks and Romans? To stand on the shoulders of giants and see no further is the one unforgivable sin of academic inquiry. 

Instagram account for the goose that lives on campus.

Gone are the days of the seven liberal arts, gone is the simple world where man could

live soundly by science, art, and reason alone – ours is an age of advancement. What knew these ancients of the New Liberal Arts? What of Computer Science and Nursing? In

their wildest dreams, did they ever conceive of Design Technology and Entrepreneurship, or

International Business Administration? I ask you – What knows the Titan of E-sports?

The Goose knows. The Titan is a monument to irrelevance – The Goose is a true symbol for our times. Not shackled to a dying philosophy, The Goose is free, dynamic, ever changing. The Goose travels far and wide, from Quebec to New Orleans as its whim dictates. But does it

waste its days learning French? No. The Goose needs no language, honking its untranslatable,

barbaric yawp over the roofs of the world.

Tommy clings to the past with four fingered hands while The Goose waddles boldly onward, driving us into the future. There is no life behind Tommy’s felted grin. The crudely formed humanity of the Titan is a vestigial Anthropology, a mockery of man. The sleek lines of The Goose are efficient, precise.

Tommy’s soft form and immaculate white gloves are reminders of his impotence. He has never struggled, never fought. Where the Titan is weak, The Goose is strong.

The Goose sires generation after generation, a symbol of virility.

The Goose returns year after year, eternal and persevering.

The Goose is not afraid to make the hard decisions.

The Goose’s mighty hiss strikes fear into the hearts of its enemies.

The Goose commands respect.

Look deep within yourself and ask, which you would rather be? The Titan – a weak fable, out of touch, out of time, powerless in the face of progress — or The Goose; unconquerable, unyielding, master of its own destiny. For me, it is an easy choice. If you agree, make your voice heard. Sign the petition. Thank you, and TGOE (The Goose Over Everything).

By adviser

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