I used to be in Greek life at IWU and on the editorial board for The Argus, so I wonder if any Greek students will read this, but I hope they do. I saw that picture of the freshman’s forehead that looked like a grade school tin ornament project and it brought me right back to college and my complicated feelings about being an Alpha Gamma Delta (AGD) at IWU. Greek houses have a weird obsession with hazing, so this may fall on deaf ears, but if my story can change one mind it’s worth spending my free time to write this.
There’s a lot I value about my time in AGD. I learned how to plan and execute events, interview well, navigate group dynamics and more. Some of my best memories feature sorority sisters and, to this day, one of my best friends is someone who was in my pledge class. I was drawn to sorority life because I wanted to be part of a group–hello, military childhood.
And I got that, for the most part. The friendships and routines of sorority life were reassuring, until some of the rituals went too far. The times we were yelled at for no reason felt unfair. When we were forced to close our eyes, hold hands in a line and stumble through the house in the dark it was annoying. A pledge class member was shamed in front of everyone for her behavior at a party in a skit and I felt embarrassed for her and lucky to have not been called out.
The hazing didn’t feel dangerous, and it always ended with something sweet: a bounty of AGD gear, presents and being granted access to the next phase of my membership. Getting to the end of the ritual always made the bad parts feel worth it.
But then one time we were blindfolded, put in cars and driven to an unknown location. Stories of other sororities dropping pledges off in a corn field miles outside of town played in my head and I was terrified. It felt like things had gone too far, but I was in too deep to say no.
When the cars stopped we were led up a set of stairs and told to sit on the floor. When we took our blindfolds off, we were surrounded by presents, snacks and beaming seniors screaming “Yay, babies!” It turned out we were there for a fun sleepover as a pledge class.
Years later, as a senior, I was the one on the other side giving the presents. This time when the freshmen took their blindfolds off one of them asked, “Why did you just do that to us?” There was a pause. Our most intrepid pledge class member spoke up and answered, “Because we love you, and we’re welcoming you into the family.” To which the freshman responded, without skipping a beat, “My family loves me, and they never treated me this way. This isn’t love.”
In that moment it felt like the bottom had dropped out from underneath me. Within seconds this near stranger had just cast three years of sorority life in a new, unflattering light. I was stunned. She was absolutely right.
The freshman went on to make a formal complaint with the school that caused some fallout for AGD. Our practices were under scrutiny by the school and headquarters. We were told not to call our little sisters “babies” anymore because it contributed to a culture of hazing. (I don’t remember if we had an anti-hazing session, though it’s entirely possible that we did).
I thought everyone else would have the same reaction as me, and some did. But it seemed like many members were more focused on defending the rituals than reflecting on why we lost a pledge class member. A sophomore I was close with casually offered, “It was done to us, so we need to do it to them,” when the topic of hazing came up.
It’s been almost 10 years, so it’s entirely possible that AGD has since retired the hazing rituals. I hope they have, because I believe hazing adds nothing to the experience. The rituals aren’t what helped me feel closer to my sorority sisters: It was making cookies, driving to get food, going out together and chatting about life late at night in the living room. Being yelled at just made me angry, closed off and cynical. It made me feel lesser-than and disposable.
Greek houses and their members need to consider what value hazing brings to their organization and how it supports the mission. Hazing rituals, by definition, are humiliating and dangerous. It’s a false tactic that feels meaningful in the moment but ultimately hurts people. Upperclassmen have an opportunity to break the pattern and find productive ways to help members genuinely bond.
I ended up dropping out of my sorority shortly after the hazing incident and I lost most of my relationships in the sorority as a result. That’s fair, I broke my commitment to the group, but maybe if we had all focused more on relationship-building than arbitrary rituals those relationships would have been able to withstand the break and maybe the freshman and I both would have stayed.
Why was it necessary to name AGD in this? Isn’t it possible to speak about one’s experience in Greek life, either positive or negative, without implicating specific organizations? This article is only going to make the lives of current members more difficult. I hope those who read this are aware of this reality and don’t take out their anger or frustration on what Alpha Gamma Delta truly is. I hope and pray current members don’t have to endure more criticism than what they are already going through.
Why was it necessary to name AGD in this? Can’t one speak out about their PAST Greek life experience, either positive or negative, without implicating the organization? Other than exposing old traditions that have been outdated for the better part of a decade, there is nothing positive that can come of this.
Thank you for speaking out about your experience and I’m sorry this has impacted you so deeply that you feel the need to include AGD’s name in all this. It is truly unfortunate that current members will have to deal with the consequences of this article. I hope and pray that future membership and incoming freshmen don’t read this and become discouraged from joining an organization that can change lives for the better. Our motto, live with purpose, has more value than just committing ourselves to a sorority.
Living with purpose means defending our members not just for four years, but for life. That is what I intend to do by defending the hardworking leaders of AGD today. They do not deserve this.
As an alumna in good standing with Alpha Gamma Delta and not a former member who cannot have her name attached to the organization any longer, I am proud of our members for never engaging in hazing behaviors. Let the record reflect that AGD has never inflicted physical abuse on anyone. This is criminal behavior. Not the work of purposeful women. This Greek organization does not have a weird obsession with hazing nor have we ever. We are proud of the members in good standing and our alums that have gone into the word and done good. Sisters, this too shall pass.
Loyally,
Ally Daskalopoulos.
This is absolutely uncalled for. Ms. Davis you can be mad at AGD all you want and try to get them investigated but they won’t find anything because they don’t haze. It’s not tolerated in that chapter and I’m sorry you’re bitter enough to still be hanging onto that for years afterword, but please next time do some research into the current atmosphere of the organization before putting them through the shredder for a personal vendetta. Also your “experience” is not even comparable to what happened at Sigma Chi. This is borderline slander.
Thank you to letter writer Savannah Davis for speaking to your experiences with such compassion and self-reflection—I hope you’ve found some solace in working to do good.
And thank you to “loyal” commenter Ally Deskalopoulos for demonstrating precisely the reactions that are troubling: you continue to push for covering up information. Why? And you praise the idea of “defending” rather than reflecting, engaging, and changing. Why?
Ally, you’re sorely misguided. A key to being an advocate against hazing means taking accountability. Being willing to stand up and own when wrong was done, and move forward to make it right. Not try to bury your organization’s name and deny wrongdoing. This person had a right to share this as does anyone who’s concerned about hazing. True sisterhood means apologizing, not hiding.
Ally, I gotta be honest. Your response is a biiiiiiiiiiiit troubling.
To be an ally and fight against hazing (or really any situation where a person of privilege wants to help fight the injustice that any marginalized group faces for that matter), one should be able to take the critiques of the times they may have messed up AS WELL AS the praise for doing good (why we should praise allies for doing good, I don’t know, but some people want their cookie, so I guess…?). Otherwise, this is just performative allyship. As much as I want to believe that you have good intentions in this, your response does not necessarily show that and actually comes off as trying to protect your specific greek organization.
If we cannot name the places where incidents happen, the people involved, the societal influences that allow acts like these to be part of the norm, then how are we going to fix these issues? Does this look bad for your organization, yes. Are there some sorority members that are good people, yeah, but that doesn’t negate the harm that was also caused. If all we do is defend our own organizations and try to claim, “oh, well that was one time” or “oh, but we’re good overall” and shame someone for mentioning a place that harmed them is not how we fix things. Also, if they experienced fallout after the incident the original poster mentioned, then what does trying to defend them and say “oh well WE didn’t do those kinds of things during our time there” accomplish? The reputation was already tarnished at that point and, if I remember correctly, we graduated in the same year so I know it’s several years apart, but still…
If we ignore history, we’re doomed to repeat it.
I would also add, if we look not just at individual behavior and at the systemic reasons for hazing to still exist within Greek culture, then we’re missing a huge part of the picture and aren’t really doing anything, are we?
So I want to ask you this because I do think that you have good intentions and I do think that it’s possible to learn from this story and others like it, WHAT are you doing to make sure hazing is no more in your organization? WHAT are you doing to recognize and listen to those who have different experiences than you? HOW are you taking that criticism and, instead of getting defensive, using that to better yourself and the organization you’re willing to defend?