Illustration: Sarah Buchmann
Here we are, geared up for another new season of The Bachelorette, this time starring Clare Crawley, the 39 year old hair stylist. Clare’s been a series regular since her debut with Juan Pablo Galavis back in 2014, then appeared on the first two seasons of Bachelor in Paradise and also appeared on The Bachelor: Winter Games.
As an avid fan of the Bachelor franchise, I was beyond excited to see Clare finally be the star of her own show.
The past few seasons have only been disappointing; Peter Weber was a mommy’s boy trainwreck, Colton Underwood famously hopped a fence and while Hannah Brown had a remarkably entertaining season, the contestants varied between an emotionally abusive fitness trainer and a lying, cheating dog food jingle-writer.
As a Bachelor Nation, we (and Clare of course) deserve a good season.
And then Week 1 happened. Within the first five minutes of the show, they showed Clare’s acceptance of being the official Bachelorette. And, as a fair warning as to what’s to come for the rest of the season, she burst into tears.
From what we know of Clare already, she’s pretty emotional. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but for a woman who claims to be strong and independent, she certainly seems to break down a lot. I’ve seen a lot of tweets saying that Clare should have gone to therapy instead of becoming the Bachelorette if she really wanted to change her life again, and I definitely agree.
She’s an off-brand version Hannah Brown, and thank god her season is going to be cut short. If y’all haven’t heard already – spoiler alert – Clare and one of the contestants take off mid-season.
Dale, a former pro football player and someone who could very well be a model or the little girl from The Polar Express, walked out of the limo on the first night and Clare immediately fell in love.
She actually turned to Chris Harrison and said, “I think I just met my husband.” Sure, we’ve had stars say that they think they’ve met their future spouse in general before, but never directly about a specific person.
“As a Bachelor Nation, we (and Clare of course) deserve a good season.”
Of course, by singling Dale out, Clare is ignoring the rest of the wonderful cast of men she has available.
There’s Bennett, who is clearly from old money. He rolled up to the mansion with the greatest Gatsby aesthetic I have ever seen. Some say he looks like Clark Kent, but I wouldn’t put it past him to call me old sport.
Eazy is another contestant with tons of charisma – he even showed up on the first night rocking the infamous salmon suit, one that was made famous by Tyler Cameron on Hannah Brown’s season.
Jason also made an impression during Week Two, when he confessed that he had a lot of problems with relationships and might not be cut out for this situation. But it’s okay – he and Clare wrote down the bad things from their pasts on clay tablets and smashed them, then screamed into the void to get their feelings out. This is definitely my type of date, if anyone’s wondering.
Some other highlights from the past two weeks include a man with “SOUP NUTS” tattooed on his hands (at least, that’s what it looks like to me and the internet), an arousing game of strip dodgeball and Bennett’s tour of his room, complete with a floor-length robe and facemasks by the pool.
Photo: Getty Images
Another moment fraught with tension was when Clare opened up space for one-on-one conversations during a group date, and no one immediately rushed to her side. She was not happy with this, and called the guys out on their behavior.
I don’t think Clare should have taken it personally – it’s just that we finally have contestants who are mature enough to have not seen the show before or know how it works, and they’re actually being respectful of the others.
Crazy how that happens when the contestants aren’t freshly picked out of their frat houses after graduation. Other than that, there’s not much drama to report. The only “normal” drama was on the first night, when the new Tyler C. called out Yosef for talking to other women before the show, but Clare sent Tyler C. home right away. She’s supposedly looking for a drama-free season, but I doubt Chris Harrison will let that happen. Until next week, I’ll be scrolling through Instagram and Twitter for the best memes about how Clare was how it started, but Tayshia is how it’s going to end.