Horoscopes: What Bloomington pizza place are you?

By Farah Bassyouni Apr 15, 2022
Image from Canva

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18) – Casey’s

You are so underrated and constantly open for business. Which is so fun, but is it fun that everyone thinks you are cheap? 


Pisces (February 19 – March 20) – D.P. Dough

You’re the one who people love to drunk-dial at 3 a.m. You’re always reliable, even if you have to call a few times to get an answer. 


Aries (March 21 – April 19) – Rosati’s

Just like Rosati’s dough bites, everyone always wants you around. You are such a comforting person and your energy is contagiously the best.


Taurus (April 20 – May 20) – Little Caesars

No one really likes you. But for whatever reason you keep popping up everywhere. 


Gemini (May 21 – June 20) – Marco’s Pizza

You are basic and I do not know why you have friends. Overall, you are everyone’s last option, but still acceptable.  


Cancer (June 21 – July 22) – Flingers

Everything you have to offer is everyone’s favorite. There is literally not one thing bad about you. 


Leo (July 23 – August 22) – Monical’s 

The pizza crust is thin and so is your personality. You’re fun for a second, but you’re pretty exhausting to get through. 


Virgo (August 23 – September 22) – Blaze Pizza

You are so original and everyone loves hearing about it. At least you are genuinely interesting, because that makes it a lot less insufferable. 


Libra (September 23 – October 22) – Domino’s

Being basic is so fun and classic. At least you are consistent and have a little bit more flavor than a Leo. 


Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) – Firehouse 

You are everyone’s hometown favorite. And no, you did not peak in high school but everyone from the town you never return to loves you. 


Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) – Papa John’s

You are not fun and most likely everyone’s last choice. Your bland personality is just like the bland pizza crust from Papa John’s. 


Capricorn (December 22 – January 19) – Tobin’s

 You are not everyone’s favorite, but someone definitely picks you over everyone else. At least you know you are an original and not replaceable. Congratulations.

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